To: Barbara From: Whiney

I just want to run to you and hug you and tell you that I'm sorry and...I don't even know what I did, again...

because I miss you like hell

You're the only one who understands me, who cries like me, who yells like me, and cares like me, who...loves chi chi's like me...

we grow .t.o.g.e.t.h.e.r.

apart

because I don't know why you're mad, I just know that you're just about the most important person in my life and I can't take being left out...I can't.

We're exactly alike and when you're mad...I'm mad

and your dad is an asshole

and even if I never speak to you again I'll still mutilate his genitals and mail them to you because

I do care

I care so much that when I feel like you don't care

I become you

because I hurt myself...just like you

just in a different way

but I can't do this anymore

I'd rather be alone than always hurting and feeling like second place to..whoever is cooler this week

because we have something deeper and we both know that

I can't let you go

but I will

because I'm not Kevin, and I'm not going to give in every time...I need to feel like you care too...I need you to be the one to apologize sometimes...

but you're not

I know I'm a bitch...

but damnit, you love me

please show me

because I can' do this without you

but I will

p.s. I never meant to leave you out...you wanted to go home...and you don't have fun like we do. Just like I dont have fun like you and Carmela.

I love you so much.

please don't leave me

but I refuse to be the boy any longer

I miss you