Going Over The Problems

when I think of paul...it makes me want to puke. b/c...how do you avoid tha? How can you avoid guys like Paul? He seemed so incredibly perfect for me. After three days of talking we were thinking marriage. But our first date was trecherous. I swear all he wanted was down my pants and I should have known 20 minutes into the date. Sexual purity? Dominant male in a Christ-centered relationship? I don't think so.

I thought since he was a virgin it meant there would be no compromising situations. I was so very wrong. I was so very strong. I guess I knew what he wanted, b/c I wouldn't even let him kiss me. i was too afraid of regretting it. And I would be upset if he had been my first kiss. I guess I'm okay with it being Daniel. I mean...he was really hot, right? I wish he'd call me back...he's not making a very good friend lol I'll eventually see him when I go to an AA show. He'll most likely be standing alone...smoking away. Well..he'll probably have a girlfriend. lol but that's alright, she won't be as pretty as I am. And even if she is...I'm sure I'm better somehow. haha oh man, that's funny. I guess I don't really care at all, it'll just be strange. We were really only friends anyway...and then one day we kissed. It didnt mean anything, but it was still lovely. The rest of the day still makes me sick though.

I don't think I should ever cry over a boy again. That's just silly. Besides...Jared is so different from them. I don't think I have anything to worry about. Other than maybe making him jealous by writing about other boys...hmm

no censoring, Amy

so...the Paul Theory: no matter what boys say or do, they are guilty of being terrible until proven innocent.

please be different