bipolar or completely normal?

I think my head is CRAZY, sometimes. These amazingly strange thoughts flow to my mouth, which thankfully are then sensored through the ridges on my palate. Sometimes a few slip through. I dispise those few, and moreover I hate the tadpoles they began as.

I think ferocious thoughts. angry and spiteful. pure hatred. sometimes wanting to say things to make him hurt. to enjoy watching him hurt. I'd like to kill those tadpole thoughts before they grow and develop and turn me into an insane person. Do other people do these things? These things so out of character that they wonder who's controlling their brain?

I hope they don't just so they don't have to deal with them, but God, I hope I'm normal. I don't want to be a crazy person...but my mood swings can be crazy.

i think I just need to learn patience. sometimes being spontaneous isn't the greatest. not when you split-secondly do something out of anger.

I'm praying Lord, that you help me through this. I'm 22 and developing and I just want to know who I am.
I'm done finding, I want to be found.