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February 08, 2004 You're Making Me Do All Of The Work I walked in and you were the first person I saw. I wanted you to talk to me...but that didn't happen. I only went there to see you, and I told myself I wasn't leaving until we talked. I acted surpised when I saw him and assumed he'd come talk to me after I said hi...but he didn't. We didn't have a ride home, and I sort of manipulated the situation so that we didn't...and I ended up asking him for a ride home...he couldn't hear me, so he motioned me over to the pool tables, picked up all of his stuff, and went over so that he could talk to me. He asked the lead singer of the band and he said sure...and then Daniel (that's his name) whips out a dollar and he's like, you wanna play? haha, so we played pool and had fun and ...I beat him! So the band gave us a ride home and I had to sit in the back quished with Daniel, and it was terrible ::rolls eyes:: it was incredible. He's definitely not the funny one of the group lol but I like him anway. He's so dorky. And they say he's mormon but I think it's just a joke because he's all dressed up all the time. hmm... I heard him say that he had to buy a suit for Valentines Day..and I was all depressed. He said so he could go "do his thing," but then followed with....get drunk and walk around talking to random people. And I found out his "ex-fiance" goes to Anderson so...that's probably why he's going to go get drunk. He used to be straightedge...so that's pretty sad. AAAAAnnnnddd he remembered my name. I can't remember if I retold him that night though...I don't know. so maybe it's not that impressive. haha Anyway, my current dilemma is whether or not to e-mail the lead singer and ask what Daniel is doing for V-day. But...I'm not sure if I should. So everyone should give me some feedback on what to do! The story is so much longer, and a little more interesting when told in person but...that's alright. Just pretend to hear my veryexcitedvoice.
February 06, 2004 I Don't Want To Be Twenty "I'm 13 years old and have a girlfriend. Nothing else matters." I'm 19 years old and I've never had a boyfriend or been kissed. too many people have told me it makes them respect me. Yeah, respect me, but not like me, right? you just want to feel special...just like everyone else.
February 06, 2004 The Diurnal Thoughts And Actions Of A Girl Content With Pretending sometimes I run alone through the valley with a smile on my face I put my arms out and pretend I can fly I can't help but laugh at myself and I can't help but wonder if the boy I will love is watching me and wishing for me for his birthday because...if I were a boy I would want a girl who could fly
February 06, 2004 I Have A Crush On Every Boy I like a popular boy. This can only mean trouble. Tonight he made me play DDR and then made fun of me, and we walked to get donuts...but he didn't talk to me. And all I want to do is get to know him. He has five billion girls after him, and I hate to just be a number. Pick another boy, Amy. He's not cute, but he's witty and funny and smart and sarcastic and...he plays the accordian. He's such a dork. And I want him. I want to talk to him about things that matter, because I can't stand this superficiality one more minute. I want to sit down and not laugh, I want him to tell me why he's funny. why he is..how he is. Tonight when I told about how my family chooses television over me...he listened, and I could tell. I wasn't talking to him, but he was listening. I think he wonders why I'm a loner. Why I listen to headphones and sit alone. Why I write in my journal instead of talking to my non-existent friends. I think he wonders...because I'm pretty. And that sounds terrible. But...I'm just as cool as Susan...and Susan knows all the guys, and they love her (as friends) but...Susan isn't pretty and I think it makes her more approachable. B/c...even though I just want to be friends, I think maybe the boys here are intimidated. I'm afraid I sound arrogant, but this is the word around campus about AU boys. They're afraid of girls- and maybe I'll stop wearing makeup. I actually exercised today and...you know what? he's too skinny for me anyway...
February 05, 2004 Me + MTV = Completely Awesome ps. it's supposed to be on today, thursday at 4:30 my time. Michael...that means 3:30 your time. :o) everyone should watch for me, I have my lip ring in, and I'm wearing my dead poetic shirt with my old messenger bag. haha, what if I'm not even on there for like 2 seconds. I'll cry! lol I'll be dancing in a classroom and walking into the building...I can't remember the other scene...oh yeah! I'm sitting right next to (and one behind) Joey(a.k.a. prankster) when the principle comes in and grabs him! He leans over and whispers to me and another girl. woohoo, I can't wait.
February 04, 2004 Be Careful Boys! gross, why is that girl showing cleavage? oh wait, that's me... OH WAIT...WHERE DID THAT COME FROM? I never had that before. It's time to start wearing undershirts kids. Amy's growing up. I think it started ever since I went vegetarian. hmm. my psychological experimental side tells me that I should look into this correlation. my girly side says, haha...that's so cool. And not so I can show it off in a dirty way...or talk about it all the time (this IS my diary though) but just...things fit better, and look better. They make clothes for a certain size...and I was not that size. a nice healthy B cup would be awesome. I'm like a B+ right now. Just a little more to go. umm...I hope too many boys didn't read this. eh no thoughts Michael! I know your dirty mind...not. :o) I like my lumpy body. Every girl should read Sark and Sabrina Ward Harrison. If you've never heard of them...get to your local library right away. It's meant for girls, but boys would benefit too.
February 04, 2004 It's A Great Day To Be Alive everyone keeps writing, but I don't even feel like reading. is that wrong? I just keep studying, and making new friends and...wow. Things are really different this semester. I don't miss home. I don't miss many people. I'm not spending much time alone, and ... .i.am.happy. crying because today it's hard to remember what depression felt like just weeks ago I hope I'm like this forever thanks God.
February 02, 2004 update okay well I just found out that it's on tomorrow! February 3rd @ 4:30 my time. I can't wait!!
February 02, 2004 WOO For MTV I'm going to be on MTV at one of these times. The show is called "High School Stories" and it's about pranks that high schoolers did. The one I'm in is about a boy who takes over the intercom system and plays Alice Cooper's "School's Out for Summer" so loud that no one can keep going with class. I play a girl who is dancing to the music and talking on her cellphone. I'm in like...3 scenes or something, so watch for me and my hot hardcore friends from Georgia!! P.S. These times are Indiana..and I can never figure out which time zone we are since we don't do daylight savings. I think right now we're Eastern.
Monday February 2 4:30 PM Tuesday February 3 4:30 PM Wednesday February 4 4:30 PM Wednesday February 4 6:30 PM Thursday February 5 12:00 AM Thursday February 5 4:30 PM Friday February 6 12:00 AM Friday February 6 4:30 PM Saturday February 7 7:00 PM Saturday February 7 7:30 PM Monday February 9 3:00 PM Monday February 9 3:30 PM Monday February 9 4:30 PM
February 01, 2004 Today Was Harder Than Yesterday it's so strange that things are so different. I'm not sad anymore. but today...I think I had a relapse. and my sister called me fat, and she wouldn't listen to me, so I almost cussed at her, but instead I called her a whore. my 11 year old sister on her birthday I told her I was glad to go back to college so I didn't have to look at her face anymore and then I yelled at a boy at pizza hut...but that's b/c he was a jerk to me. I let it go the first time, but the second time I spoke against him. My sister told me I have issues, I told her she shouldn't call me fat. I can't deny anything, and today was a ...not a good day, but I'm not crying yet. And then I saw Jon, and I listened to Dashboard which just makes me remember the time when I was sad...I think I should just go to bed. |