It Doesn't Have to Ruin Everything

I'm just generally pissed off today.

I'm still missing him, but that doesn't make me angry...just sad.

So, I'm glad everyone else in my house gets cable modem but me. Evidently it just won't work on my jank computer. My dad and brother just got new computers whilst I still have mine from 8th grade. I think to myself, that was just four years ago, and then I go, OMG that was FOUR years ago! That makes it pretty old. I'm thinking of buying myself a new one. Maybe a laptop? I don't know. I'm not sure if I could install a cable modem to that? Probably.

And I have to go to work now, and all I want to do is be lazy.

Inside, why am I so depressed and lonely...but when I get around friends I'm so hyper. And it's not fake, I really do get excited and love to dance. But as soon as I'm all alone...it's back to me. Just wanting to cry.

Maybe if he loved me I'd feel better...at least I'd have someone to call and whine to, and we could be depressed together. :(

My Prayer: Let this happen soon...it doesn't have to ruin everything.