-

You know I'm the constant friend

your relient k

but sometimes I need a tune-up

I'm loyal and I'll be there when you're broken

but I want to be there when things are great, too

talking now and then isn't okay with me

you have filler friends...I don't

I have you two...that both have someone else

who appears to be the new best friend

but both of you deny it

So I get new friends...

and you get jealous

I need someone

and he wants to hold me

and I want to be held

so where's the problem, again?

*************************************

Every day I wake up pretending you're next to me...sometimes Sam, sometimes Habibty, sometimes no image...just someone, but yesterday it was Stephen, and it scared me...b/c I don't want to wake up next to him, he'd just leave me again. Habibty, you'll never leave me, will you? "There's a light in my eyes, it's too bright to see, and a pain in my heart where you used to be..."

Will I ever be over him?

Man, he was sexy....his eyes...I don't even love eyes...but there was something about his...and the way he always wore a white t-shirt even though he knew I hated it. The way he was a delinquent who just happened to love classical music. I'm not sure I've ever mentioned that. Yes, we had the same taste in classical. And he liked to cook. He always wanted to cook me dinner.

How do I still cry a year later? How was I so careful, but somehow managed to hand him my heart without my noticing. I didn't mean to. How did he know just how to hold me...no one else will ever do it right. Yes they will...someone will. He liked astronomy...and he never tried to kiss me, but he told me he loved me. My ex-gang leader beau who wrote me a beautiful song on his acoustic. I wasn't so interested in music back then. I don't know what else he listened to besides classical. Someday I'll walk to the puddle...I bet it's still there...and I bet I'd write well at our spot...lol our spot that he tried to name, but they were all crap, and I was afraid to tell him. I didn't want to hurt his feelings...he really tried. I love languages so he looked up all these different names, especially italian since that's what he is. Nothing fit though, so we just called it "our spot." We would go there when I got off early from work and wouldn't tell my mom...we'd just walk around for 2 or 3 hours. He stopped once and wanted to kiss me, I could tell, but he didn't try, and he didn't tell. My lips are full...I know, and I could tell when he would stare.

I can tell when you stare.

And I'm okay with that.