What Happened...

I've had two dreams about you. In the first one you text messaged me and said sorry for everything that had happened and...we became friends again, and I was so happy to know that you cared.

In the second dream I realized that the first was fiction, and...you showed up at a party. I thought this was strange that I had just had a dream about you. This one was more realistic. We didn't talk at the party, not for a while. We vaguely spoke and I couldn't wait till the moment that we embraced and you told me our friendship wasn't over at all... It never actually happened that I remember, but I knew that you just being there meant everything.

I now realize that they were both just dreams...and we aren't friends. My best friend...isn't my friend anymore...and I don't know what I did...

You are such a coward for not telling me, not talking to me, not acknowledging my existance.

I told your voicemail that I would not be attending your wedding, and in finding out that it's in Ohio...there's no question that I can't attend. But I hear you're having a wedding shower and...I can't decide whether the mature thing is to go...or to take a hint and not go. I care about you so much...and have supported your marriage from the beginning...I can't figure a reason that you're not speaking to me.

I may never know, and that kills me. You're killing me.

Justin Goeden, I awoke a sad sad girl this morning, and I blame this on you.