I Eff Everything Up

I ate a stale gummie today

but it still made me think of you

I don't know if I can do this

this isn't me being stubborn

this is me...caring about me

for once

as strange as that sounds.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do

I can't ignore the problem anymore

I just can't

we need to talk....I need to call you

but I'm scared

I don't want to cry

and I don't want to face reality

I'm not ready to stop being ignored yet

I'm not better yet

I'm doing everything I know I shouldn't

.boys.language.sex.music.god.

are there any other areas I could screw up?

damnit, I hate this.

just stop...stop...slow down...just slow down

the problems are coming faster than I can fix them

and I'm not even busy

I need...to throw up

I need you to help me, because you'll understand me

but I'm not ready to talk to you

until I get better

can you make me better?

can you please make me better?

get out your duct tape, give me a hug

and promise me you'll be my best friend again

I need someone to talk to

and by someone I mean you...

I need to go cry...