This Is Dumb. Please Don't Read.

I think there's a conspiracy here. A good friend once said, "you have no idea how many government conspiracies there are." And yes, he was serious. Like a science fiction film. (nothing to do with science, I know, this is my diary, I don't have to make sense)

So I think they have one for me. A possible title for my "top secret" folder might be "Let's see how many boys will break dates with Amy before she gives up." Let me just tell you "government" it will take a lot more than....3 to make me give up. I can only think of 2 but I'm sure there's another one. The funny thing is, I don't really date. I haven't dated for...oh wow a very long time. Probably...EVER! haha

I don't really get it. I'm a bright, beautiful, fun girl. Once they get to know me, though, I guess they just don't want me. Eh. Like mom always says, "You just intimidate them." Good ol, mom. I don't know why I get boys, but never really "get" them, but I'm sure that's not the reason. They're always interested, but nothing ever comes of it. hm.

People reading this might think there is something wrong here, and I'm not filling you in all the way, and that may be the truth. I'm a bit high maintenance, but only in the sense of attention, not money. I'm a big spender, but only MY money. I'm a bit difficult also. But I think I'd make a wonderful girlfriend. ::sigh:: someday.

But sophomore year is a long time to wait, God. I guess if you say so. I guess it'll be worth it. I'm hoping CIY convinces me to wait, and that boys are not that important. Do I really need a boy to call me baby, hold my hand, watch me cry, cuddle with me, pay attention to me, call me, have deep conversation with me, give me rides, and buy me dollar store presents? Do I really want to give someone my all, and prove that I'm not selfless...is it so much to want to not be alone. It really IS selfish. No one wants to be alone. I'm just like everyone else no matter how I decide to dress. We all just want someone to love, don't we?

grrr. I'd be so good to him.