I'm So Scared To Do This

I'm strangely content today.

"Strangely" because hardly anything is going right...I have so much to do, and it seems like I'm losing so many friends.

So many friends.

I never had "so many friends."

But I had darn good ones.

And I miss you.

I'm so fatigued at the brain that I'm tempted to just let things lie...and then I remember everything...

Zuchini anyone?

how we plotted to get the room we wanted...kniving, that's what we were..."well if we move this chair and one sleeps on the bed...WE CAN HAVE THE BIG ROOM!"

"Don't you want to be in the fashion show?"

The missing fooseball man and how no one wanted to be that one.

CooooOOOOOOOooooo!

Butterfly! "He'll be a very busy boy"-Dr. Sue Johansen

The lady that lied about sending our post cards.

Your phone is ringing...no...the OTHER phone....::jumps the couch while sleeping::

"Do you not like her b/c she's ugly?"

The nasty soap that was EVERYWHERE.

Bob and the Craisins

"have you never smoked Mexican pot?"

Whiney and her Ho's

the quivering lip

or how about...

the applesauce for my birthday

the 21 year old hotguy "do you have any suntan lotion?" you: "umm in my hotel room...I can go get it" PS. it's a 15 minute walk

4:59 -the scratching of the nose

ugh that stupid museum we just HAD to stop at for 2 hours...and watch that video!

watching us go out to the hot tub

Now...after all that, and **Your Grandmothers House** I just can't let it go that easy....it's 4 years of my life....you MADE my highschool experience what it was/is. It hurts me to hear that you "don't care" but ya know what? I do. I do a lot. And I hate this, b/c it's not you...and it's not me. Maybe I'm not the best "best friend" in the world, but I care, and I think I halfway understand you, just as you do me. Two weeks ago we were wonderful, talking about how we would be great roommates b/c we understand each other, and just b/c of one incidence...I don't think we were wrong. Do you know that I don't even know what I did? But it doesn't matter, b/c whatever it is, I'M SORRY. This is not worth it. Maybe I'm way off, and you DON'T care, and everything I said..doesn't matter at all. But I have to try...because you mean a lot to me. The only way I knew I did anything was b/c of your diary. Which is why I'm going to talk to you before you read this....I just...gotta get this out. I love you so much, and I hope this doesn't change anything...or we were wrong all along.

And you know how I feel about being wrong.